Last night was quite a suffering night I had. Around 5 in the evening my whole body started to feel very weak, no energy and no appetize to eat. I thought because of I'm too hungry so I've cook myself a pack of Nissin Instant Noodle to eat. Then I get some sleep. Once I woke up after 2 to 3 hours my condition is still the same or getting worse I guess.. So I know that I got a high fever because my back bone is pain. It's damn pain.

I sms-ed yEw to let him know about my condition and he did called and care about my situation. Well, he cared. And this morning I woke up I feel much more better. I feel like it seems like I just had a dream. I had a bad night and sick then suddenly I'm ok already.

I understand that everyone around me non-stop asking me to take good care of myself properly, since I'm a person who very easy to got sick, but I did do the best for my own health. I didn't know my body is that weak.

Anyway, I just get my final exam time table. And my exam is going to start next week Friday. Well, I have the confidence to pass the papers. And these few days just need to study and relax and sit for coming exam. Hey guys.. wish me luck. I will prove that I can do it.

Just eating plain white bread, medic and drink plain water is boring. I wish that I can eat what I want soon! Ohh ya.. My industrial training will be starting on this coming 20th April 2009 at Wisma Genting! Great~!!^^

listening - none

So fast it's 1st of April 2009!! Time flies man..!!!!! These few days things getting better.. I mean my studies~! Didn't know how is the results going to be in next month but I did a lot of study / revision since 3 weeks ago and next week going to start exam!!! Fufufufufu~~

Had kinda a no-conversation-life with yEw these few weeks after he is back from Bangkok, i guess? Hhhmmm.. But it's normal and I think every relation will face these kind of situation too! So take it easy, because he was busy with his working life and I'm with my exam.. huhu.. very angkat 1 lah me.. Lol..

So today buy myself a magazine at LRT station, read it while waiting for bus.. Then if I'm kinda bored or nothing to do then I have something to do at home later.. And bring back some Hong Kong chinese drama to watch! wohoo~? Haha..

Have an early preparation will show me the way to get more confidence!

listening - none

listening - Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson

Yesterday luckily i took a tablet of the panadol before I sleep, else today I might be suffering fever again. These few days kinda concentrate on my studies. As everyone knows that if I fail again I will be need to repeat one more year.

Sometimes when I was resting or relaxing after study so much at home, I was thinking.. " Why I always make my life so complicated? " Hahaha.. but anyway.. it is just a WHY in my mind and nothing to worry about, because I know that I need to study properly to get my degree smoothly so that none of people around me will disappointed.

Last night my mom bring back some notebook's price list for me to check and choose which notebook do I want to buy. Suddenly feel so touch and sad, because I do not dare to buy it now since I don't know my result is how yet. I told her that now I'm kinda busy with my studies and wait until I'm done with my exam I will buy it. I gave her an excuse that because of my exam and PC Fair thingy. I didn't tell my mom about my condition now. I paid my resit bill all by my own. I don't even have enough money to eat also. I'm born in a lucky, good and kind-hearted family...

And kinda disappointed also because I've promised Joan to treat him go watch Wang Lee-Hom's concert. But at last also he paid himself for the tickets.. all because is I do not have anymore cash with me. All I can do for him is just call or sms him everyday to care about him. Sometimes really kinda worried that "is it I've too care for my studies and didn't care for how his feels? " - But when I've remembered that he told me that " Dear, if I don't tell you that I love You on that time or when, just please remember that I Love You de.. don't think and worry so much ".. hhmmm...feel lucky too to have a boyfriend like him. I know he also already trying his best not to disturb me study for my coming exam on this April.

Hhmmm.. I went to find my lecturer/tutor to ask some of the question that I don't understand. And he told me that he don't like any resit or repeat students, and he don't really answer or teach me how to do it. So I'm going to study and understand it all by myself. I can't really ask too many question from my friends since they passed the subject and I'm afraid that I will disturb them or get annoyed. Haha.. but still I did ask some. Thanks to you guys who help me.

I don't compare myself with other people, exspecially my studies results.

Anyway, time to continue my revision again.. Tata..

listening - Jing Zheng Dui Shou by Wang Lee-Hom

i had a peaceful Saturday morning. woke up early in the morning and thinking of what's in my mail box today... hhmmm.. i called yEw, i checked my mail box, i checked my plurk, friendster and darn it, my Facebook!!! i can't really load it in my pc! sienz.

this semester is a short semester for me in college. 7 weeks! only need to attend 3 kind of subjects and take only 1 subject in for my coming april examination. BUT! i failed and i need to resit some of the papers in this coming april. Damn P.K. betul, padan muka and really is what the hell. Lol? (i also don't why "padan muka", because it i did do revision during exam last time.. hahahaXD suka suka lar..~~) hhmmm... my mood getting dull 'cause i can't go anywhere to play, enjoy and have fun with other people. tomorrow there is an event - PAINTBALL TIME!!! but sadly.. i can't go.. because i need to stay at home and study. *breath~* haihz... all my entertainment in my life just gone like that.(temperory lah, of course!!)

and also my entertainment mood plus with my current situation is dull a bit causes problem to my relation in between yEw and i. i too concerntrate on my studies already and make him felt weird a bit and seems like something is wrong.. hhmmm..but luckily he is ok. maybe because i didn't really tell him what's going on and my situation now, thats why causes problem. ggggggaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **breath~**

haihz.. i don't know lar... very sienz now. if i fail again i need to repeat 1 more year! that means everyone going to graduate next year, but not me!!! aduh!!! pressure..!!!

but i know this is no longer my time to complain, sad and down because i need to start study already to get a higher and better results for this coming april's exam!!!!! argh!!! ganbatte aaa, von von!!!! >.<

so sorry to people around me, my family, friends and yEw.. if i did do something wrong in this few weeks and please be forgive me. i really need to concerntrate on my studies now. entertainment can wait for me, but exam will never wait for me. thats the fact! - i know that! haihz.. really don't know why i will fail also.. feel so blue~

and thank God that my family or anyone of them around me giving me pressure, forcing me, show me their face or whatever to make me study like hell so that i can pass my exam..no way~! i'm not the person who can being force and control by if and only if the situation is not allow... so all the decision i made is for myself. temperory not going out, cut off my entertainment, out-ing and etc. all is for my own good~ i want it to be more perfect than i thought. tidak apa kalau saya sudah fail.. kerana i'll make sure that i will pass and graduate nicely and smoothly next year...

studying Database System

listening - nothing.

Since last 2 weeks, my life and my feelings being so complicated.. no idea what can i do anymore, how am i going to face it, how to settle it all, none of them are here to support me, no one understand and try to do their best not to hurt me or whatever.., but things getting better now.. i've thought of those problems, so i decided to settle it all by letting go of everything.. because all i want is just a simple, peaceful and happy life.. i realise my position in everyone's heart is getting different and me myself too.. i'm as someone's girlfriend, someone's, daughther, someone's sister, someone's friends....... hell yeah.. confirmed it is because of i'm somebody's someoneS~ that is why my thinking is different whenever i'm facing either one of them.. can't compare~

well, things settled and i'm happy now~~ On my Sunday~~ everything is done..~~ and i know want i wanna do now.

anyway.. as i mentioned on my previous post, yEw went to Bangkok for holidays~!!! yeah~!! i'm happy when i knew he enjoy-ed his trip properly.. good good good...~ and he did called me once he reached LCCT and told me that he misses me.. then the next day i received his giftS from Bangkok.. he bought me some cute little fridge magnet, a bangle and also 2 SETS OF COUPLE TEE!!!

Kit-Kat, Coke, and a bottle of Thailand Mineral Water!! cute.. =)

bangle from him.. and he got the same bangle for himself too..

I do not have any pictures of our 2 sets of couple tee, because forgot to take picture of it.. hehe.. will post it next time..

p/s: Thanks, Tim!

p/p/s: Thanks for the giftS, dear..

listening - I'm Yours by Jason Mraz

*****UPDATED*****

means "Special" in Thai language (Lol i forgot he bought me a badge too :P)

**********

hhmmm.. ok alright.. my results is out.. again i failed some of the subject and need to resit.. feel so horrible and terrible.. so boring lah.. need to resit.. zzz.. some more i'm poor now.. what the hell is going on with me ?!!! aiyer.. so stress liao still fail.. doesn't know how to study anymore! sienz~!

people around me doesn't know whats happening and whats happened on me.. they don't understand how it's feel.. and that's me.. i don't use to talk about whats wrong and whats going on with me if there is something happened, because i think no people will know how i feel and can help me except myself... no matter what happen, all i know is i can only help my own self up.

and Lol? once my result is out.. i felt so damn sien and i called yEw while he is still in Penang that time, and we talked a while on the phone.. and wow.. he can listen to my voice and predict that something happened on me.. Lol~..=.= what the hell.. but i didn't tell him what happened because i think it is not some any big deals or what that i can handle it myself and i want him to enjoy his trip.. not worrying somone or anyone else in KL anymore ever since he is already wanted to go for trip so much since long time ago.. so we just continue talk more a while then bye bye because he still need to prepare for his next journey to Bangkok from Penang. it's going to takes him 20 hours of train to Bangkok!! means tomorrow around 11am only will reach there. and once reach Bangkok our phone charges is going to be different already. and thats another thing.. sien.. nvm..

anyway, going out soon to think about it myself properly and relax. =)

p/s: happy trip-ing and do enjoy your trip!

listening - Save You by Simple Plan

hey guys.. it's me again back here to blog something befor i go to bed...

yEw now is on the way to his adventure trip to Thailand for a week and will be back on next Thursday night.. have fun there..~

ok look.. why am i still sitting in front of my computer blogging in the middle of the darkness in my own room?!!! it is because the same thing~~~ as usual~~ my second semester examination result is going to release tomorrow noon.. what the hell.. worried i guess.. it's my own fault that i'm not good in studies.. that is why i always get bad results even failed.. haihz.. i just don't want to worry so much and just check my results with my calm and relax heart like others do.. but i just can't do it for myself. i kept on not only disappointed myself.. to my family too.. what the hell.. kik sim er...

pray hard.. wish me a very big good luck for me and hope that my results will be better than before.. please God.. help me.

listening - Save You by Simple Plan

yeah on the 26th of Feb 2009 my age turned to 22 already and i feel so old man.. gosh!!! but anyway.. i love you! =)

on the night before my birthday my brother has gave me my Birthday present that is Jason Mraz ticket for 2 and a FiLA original PINK in color sling bag~~ wow.. hahaha.. thanks, BROTHER!!! and also yEw called me and we talked on the phone for around an hour like that and he suddenly appear in front of my house at 11pm. so we went out to have a drink together at Taman Melati Utama, OLD TOWN there to celebrate my birthday ne~ thank you dear...

and i reached home at around 1am on the 26th of Feb, i ate the slice of Mable Cheese cake that my mom bought it from Secret Recipe earlier..

haha.. the only cake i ate this year.. but really feel so thankful to my mom who bought it to me since dont know how many years already i did not have any really a cake for my birthday~ hahahaXD after a while before go to bed i've talked on the phone with yEw till 3 in the morning and i need to wake up early at 8.30am because i have classes to attend at 9.30am! duh!! ahahaXD

then after few hours slept i dressed up properly and my classmate was like, hey why are you dress so pretty today? and i was like.. "errr... no la i feel like wearing it then i wear lor.. Lol!" - but anyway thanks to my friends who saying that i look pretty on that day~~ hey its my Birthday...!!! haha..

after that morning class we continue to have a lecture for our Advanced Network Communication (CCNA Level 3) at DK 5 there until 2pm. and once the lecture is finish suddenly the DK's lights was switched off and we all was like.. "what happen oo? like that also wanna play a?" then suddenly my classmate, Samuel took the microphone to says that "Today is one of our friend's Birthday and we're all going to celebrate and sing a song for her~!" and of course i TERPERASAN LAH!!! Lol and thinking who is SHE who same Birthday with mine? cool i can join her along and my class rep, Woo Tong the Brilliant one walking up on the stairs and seems like he is coming over me while the whole course of student is singing a Birthday song then i knew it is for me... THANK YOU GUYS!!!! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! I FEEL SO TOUCH AND HAPPY! THANK YOU!!! I NEVER HAVE THIS KIND OF CELEBRATION BEFORE!! THANK YOU! *WiNK!*

the cup of chocolate with a Birthday candle on it is brought to me by Woo Tong and all of the CourseMate! Thx!

then IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! so i skipped the MORAL lecture that is going to at 2pm to 4pm. yEw came over to college and fetch me together we went to KLCC to watch movie - LOVE MATTERS, the new Singapore movie. the movie was not bad and funny also.. feel so release after laugh so much in the cinema. after the movie we went to Chili's to have our dinner.. it was quite a normal and happy dinner too.. because all i want on that day is TO BE HAPPY 24 HOURS NON-STOP! Lol~ then happy lor~^^

one of the present yEw bought for our handphone as a replacement for our Valentine's Day~ thank you dear..~

FOOD!!!!!

ohh yeah another thing is yEw bought me a ViNNCi handbag too~ means he bought me 2 presents~~ hehehe.. and it is excatly the handbag that i want it last time when i went shopping with him at Pavilion during Chinese New Year season~~ cool~

yeah~

then before we leave KLCC of course as usual we took a photo of the day together~~

people saids i look very different as usual. not really sure why and whats wrong with my face or what.. ~ hahaha~ but i can tell you that IT'S ME LAR~^^

p/s: i don't care what is going on or what happened on the day of my Birthday, i just want to be as happy as i can~ just give me a break~ and yeah i did it and WE DID IT~!

p/p/s: hey guys~ thanks a lot for the presents, celebrations, wishes, loves~ and so on.. really thank you~~~ exspecially to my family~! thank you so so so much!

p/p/p/s: i love you.

listening - Make it Mine by Jason Mraz

People out there sad, because of what they did by hurting someone.....

People out there who regret, for what they did and not appreciate their loved ones before.....

People out there who are being in love but never realize they are facing problems and never solve it in a proper way.....

People out there who still finding for the one they want/they love in their life.....

People out there who being hurted by someone.....

People who is being killing them slowly.....

People who has no more hope in their love life.....

People who torture themselve because of their regret-ness and sadness in their love life.....

People who died for love.....

People who cried for love.....

People who using the word of "LOVE" as a game.....

People out there who..... love you and me.....

Do really appreciate people around you and never easily let go or give up when you found someone for yourself.....

p/s: be strong, Bro!

listening - wo bu pei by jay chou

This song is dedicated.....

Jie Kou by Jay Chou~